The Real Public Nuisances

I’m sure many of you have read about a California law suit claiming that the manufacture of automobiles which burn hydrocarbons and release carbon dioxide presents a public nuisance. I want to comment on this from several angles in coming posts.

First, I want to say that the singling out of the auto industry for this type of problem is unfortunate. There are many similar unrecognized public nuisances which I hope they will ultimately address. In order to jump start the discussion on these problems which are equally or more dangerous, I’m providing a list of the top 3 here.

Oxygen
Oxygen and any process that produces it should be banned. Oxygen feeds the forest fires which plague California and the West. It also contributes to the combustion of cigarettes, marijuana, and crack cocaine. Oxygen promotes rust which depreciates the value of our bridges and automobiles. Despite the fact that it is needed by every vertebrate to breathe, we should take the bold step and ban it now. That means we should build a case against the agricultural industry and anyone who cultivates photosynthetic organisms.

Water
Let’s not hide behind the clever marketing slogan “water” put forth by Big Water. We should more accurately call this substance dihydrogen monoxide. It is responsible for burns, drowning, impaired performance of automotive brakes, poor visibility, not to mention flood damage. We should start an inquiry into those who irrigate, build reservoirs, dig wells, etc.

Food
Food is clearly the number one cause of obesity. If we were to outlaw food, the incidence of the overweight and obese would drop dramatically. We should move swiftly to address this public nuisance as well.

I’m sure proposals like these are already under consideration. We cannot tolerate the risks that these Big 3 unrecognized problems pose to our modern society. Some might argue that each has incalculable benefits which outweigh the problems they cause. They might suggest that every act of man produces both positive and negative consequences which must be carefully weighed. These people would probably also suggest that the elimination of the automobile would provide a greater public nuisance to California. We must not listen to these misguided individuals.

Hopefully, beginning with the automotive suit, the California courts will not only rewrite the law of the land, they can rewrite laws of biology, chemistry, physics, and human nature as well.